Health hazard
by cein
Summary: Carter gets more than he bargained for when he tangles with Luka


Title: Health Hazard Author/pseudonym: Ceindreadh ni bFrancis Email address: ceindreadh@eircom.net Rating: PG-15  
  
Disclaimer: "ER" and all its characters belong to Warner Bros. No infringement of their copyright is intended. This story was written for the enjoyment of "ER" fans everywhere, and may be downloaded for your own pleasure.  
  
Notes - This story is all my sister's fault. She told me that if I used the phrase 'bite me' in front of her kids, and they took me literally, then she wasn't going to be reprimanding them!  
  
Health Hazard  
  
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Luka followed Carter into the empty exam room. "Dr. Carter," he said, a note of repressed anger in his voice. "You had no right to perform that procedure on *my* patient."  
  
"Look, the patient survived, that's the main thing," replied Carter, with a smirk. "And besides, if I'd waited for you to show up, she'd have bled out."  
  
"The fact still remains that as a resident, you had no authority. I am an Attending, you should have got me. I am going to have to write this matter up."  
  
Carter was getting annoyed. Who the hell did Kovac think he was, lecturing him like that? "Oh bite me," he snapped.  
  
Luka raised his eyebrow in surprise before replying, "If you insist."  
  
Carter watched in horror as Luka's face started to go all bumpy and his teeth grew significantly longer.  
  
Outside the exam room, Yosh said to Abby, "Did you just hear somebody scream?"  
  
Abby shrugged and said disdainfully, "This is the ER.there's always somebody screaming."  
  
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Luka sat back on his heels, wiped his hand across his mouth and belched loudly. "Mmm, you sure taste much better now that you've given up smoking."  
  
Carter was slumped against the wall, his hand clutching at the wound on his neck from which Luka had just finished tasting his blood. The words penetrated through his haze. "Huh?"  
  
"And I'm glad to see that you haven't been on any drugs recently. They always leave such a bitter aftertaste," added Luka. Pulling out a handkerchief, he delicately dabbed at his face to clean off the dribbles of blood.  
  
"Wha?" asked Carter, still confused. "Wait a minute.you've tasted my blood before? Ugh, when, how.why don't I remember it?"  
  
Luka shrugged, "Usually when you were asleep and I was really thirsty. It's not as if you were going to miss a few cc's here and there. And the wound heals over in a few minutes, so you wouldn't have noticed it. In fact, you might want to move your fingers.amusing as it might be to see you walking round with your fingers stuck to your neck, it would only draw people's attention to me."  
  
Carter hurriedly pulled his hand away from his neck, hoping that the stickiness he felt on his fingertips was just dried blood and not fresh skin. "So let me get this straight," he said. "You're a Vampire? One of the undead?"  
  
"We prefer 'living impaired' actually," said Luka, as he picked at his teeth. Damn, he had a piece of skin stuck there that just wouldn't budge.  
  
"But I've seen you in daylight, and you weren't bursting into flames or anything."  
  
"That whole 'vampires can't live in daylight' was invented by a bunch of kids who wanted an excuse to sleep late," said Luka. "True, we prefer the night time, but we can exist in daylight. We just don't tan very well."  
  
"And is the whole 'wooden stake through your heart the only way to kill a vampire' just a myth as well?"  
  
"A wooden stake through the heart tends to kill most things.not just vampires," said Luka. "But yes, it tends to prove fatal.at least temporarily."  
  
Something else Luka had said was nagging at Carter. "Wait a minute.you said only 'usually' when I was asleep.how come I don't remember it happening when I was awake?"  
  
"You really don't know your myths that well, do you?" Luka sighed, "All it took was a little bit of hypnosis." He put on a fake Transylvanian accent, "You vill not remember anyting, Doctor Carter." Returning to his normal accent, he added, "Of course, the hypnosis is more effective if I 'zap' you *before* I suck you, but hey, I was getting hungry."  
  
Still on the ground, Carter backed quickly away from Luka, only to be brought up short by an instrument stand, which promptly fell over.  
  
Luka rolled his eyes, and picked up the metal bowl, which had been on the stand. Glancing at it, he quickly smoothed his hair back down.  
  
"Hey, I thought you couldn't see your reflection," said Carter.  
  
"Another myth.well, sort of. Some of us can, some can't. Don't know how I'd manage if I was one of the ones that *couldn't*." Luka looked at his reflection again. "Looking good," he said, admiring the way his teeth were glistening, and making a mental note to pick up some more dental floss.he didn't want anything happening to *these* beauties.  
  
Carter involuntarily touched his neck again. The wound had indeed healed over and he couldn't even feel a scar. "You.you're not gonna turn me into a vampire now, to stop me from telling your secret."  
  
Luka shrugged indifferently. "Half the people working here think I'm a vampire anyway. I keep telling them, that Transylvania is part of Romania, *not* Croatia, but will they listen?" He made a dismissive gesture. "The other half call me Doctor Death."  
  
"Well you do seem to kill a lot of patients," said Carter, before he could stop himself. He cringed under Luka's glare.  
  
"At least I do not sleep with them first," said Luka.  
  
"What the.how did you know."  
  
Luka smiled evilly, displaying his long teeth. "It's amazing how 'talkative' people are when under hypnosis." He imitated Carter's voice, "And before Rena there was Elaine, and before her was Roxanne, and then there was Liz." Returning to his normal voice and accent, he commented dryly, "I wonder how you found time to practice medicine."  
  
"Hey," said Carter, indignantly. "I didn't sleep with *that* many.oh wait a minute." He started muttering names to himself, counting them off on his fingers. "Wow," he said finally, "I really am a stud muffin." There was a note of pride in his voice.  
  
Luka rolled his eyes. "Sure Carter, you're a real class act." He briefly considered leaving Carter with a post-hypnotic suggestion that would have him call out every woman's name *but* Abby's the next time they were in bed together, but he decided against it. There were all sorts of ethical considerations regarding implanting post-hypnotic suggestions after feeding, and besides.being with Abby was punishment enough. "And they call *me* a vampire," he muttered under his breath.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing," said Luka, quickly. "Now come here.it's time to make you forget about what's just happened."  
  
"Oh no," said Carter, backing away. "I'm not going to let you do that to me.I'm going to tell everyone just what a freak you really." His voice trailed off as he inadvertently looked into Luka's eyes and found himself lost in their depths.  
  
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"Is everything okay, Dr. Carter?" asked Kerry, upon seeing him emerge from the exam room. "I heard that you and Dr. Kovac had a little.disagreement of opinion earlier."  
  
"Everything's fine, Dr. Weaver," said Carter, smiling. "I've apologized to Dr. Kovac and agreed that he was right, I really *should* have waited for him, but I believed that time was of the essence."  
  
"That's right Kerry," added Luka, who had followed Carter out of the room. "I don't think this matter needs to go any further."  
  
Kerry eyed the two men suspiciously. "Well if you're sure."  
  
"I'm sure," said Luka, smiling at her.  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Kovac," said Carter. "And now, I believe I was going to look at a patient with a butt boil. Excuse me, Dr. Weaver." He headed on down the corridor.  
  
Kerry looked at Luka with narrowed eyes, "Wasn't the butt boil *your* patient?"  
  
"Dr. Carter insisted on seeing him," said Luka, before excusing himself and heading for the Lounge. He grinned evilly as he pushed open the door. Ethical considerations be damned, he should have improved Carter's manners a *long* time ago.  
  
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The End  
  
Ceindreadh 


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